Apologize

Stacey Brown

Sister, Sister

I apologize on behalf of those who 

Instead of saying “ I don’t know what to say”

Instead said “God has a plan”

As if that was supposed to instantly get rid of the pain you’re feeling right now

Because it was God’s plan for it to hurt this much

Because it was God’s plan for you not to be able to give birth to your own

I apologize on behalf of those who made you feel

As if your pain meant that you were ungrateful

Because you have this and you can still do this

And who then proceed to give you a list of options

When all you wanted them to say was, “I don’t understand but I’m here for you”

We appreciate those who say I’m here for you

And you wanted them to justify

All the pain and frustration that was festering inside

You wanted them to validate that you were still beautiful

You wanted them to validate the women in you

And they knew that it could still trigger you

But they figured you had enough time to heal

As if your healing has to arrive at a specific time

As if you should be over it

I apologize on behalf of those who keep bringing kids up during Christmas

As if you already don’t feel less than

As if the post and pictures don’t make you feel inadequate 

I apologize on behalf of your family that didn’t show up how you needed them to

I apologize on behalf of those who couldn’t acknowledge the strength that it takes for you to carry your pain the way you do

Sister, Sister

I apologize on behalf of infertility